


Meaningless

by exclamation



Category: Shadows of Tomorrow (Jessica Meats)
Genre: Depressing, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Meaningless Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Very Little Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 13:20:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1389196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exclamation/pseuds/exclamation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you face death every day, sometimes you need something to remind yourself that you're still alive. Enrico and Jerry have an arrangement. It's not a relationship - Jerry's made that perfectly clear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meaningless

**Author's Note:**

> This story ended up being considerably more depressing than I'd intended when I started writing. It's a few snippets of interaction between Enrico and Jerry over the course of the book. The last section has some spoilers for the end of the book.

Enrico stood at the front of the hall, staring at the coffins, and the faces of their occupants. He hadn’t been close to any of them, but that wasn’t the point. They’d been Defenders, brothers-in-arms. Now they were five bodies in coffins. 

The whole team had been killed at once, which was rare these days, but Enrico wondered if maybe it was better that way. Better that they’d all fallen together, rather than to lose a single member and have to reform the team around a newcomer where once had been a trusted friend. He looked at the faces of fallen comrades and knew that there was no way it could ever be easier. 

“God! Funerals suck!” Jerry appeared at Enrico’s side, cutting through the morbidity of his thoughts. 

“Yeah,” Enrico agreed. 

“Come on. Speeches are over. Let’s get out of here.” 

Enrico knew what Jerry really meant. He wasn’t sure if it was sacrilege or a way of honouring life to do this on the day of the funeral. Either way, he knew he couldn’t stand here and stare at coffins all day. So he followed Jerry from the training room where the assembled Defenders held the memorial service. They headed to the accommodation floor, neither of them speaking, neither of them needing to. Enrico’s room was closer, so Jerry walked inside without invitation. Enrico followed, closing the door firmly behind him. 

Jerry stripped off his shirt, dumping it on the floor and going for the flies of his trousers. Enrico kicked off his shoes, already undoing his belt. This was no seductive strip-tease, just a practical shedding of what was in the way. In minutes, they stood naked together. 

Jerry pulled Enrico down onto the bed. They lay together, hands rubbing up and down each other’s backs. Enrico kissed Jerry’s neck, licking the smooth skin there. He reached a hand down to cup the other man’s ass, squeezing gently. Jerry pulled away a little, shifting down the bed to lick one of Enrico’s nipples, closing his lips around the nub and tugging gently. Enrico gave a soft moan, weaving his fingers into Jerry’s hair. 

Jerry moved up again, smiling a trail of kisses up Enrico’s chest, but stopping before he reached his lips. It was never on the lips. 

They were already half-hard. Enrico pulled away, grabbing for the drawer of his bedside table, fumbling until he found what he needed. All the while, Jerry’s hands and tongue worked their way over Enrico’s chest, toying with his nipples and navel. 

Enrico found the lube, dropping the tube onto the mattress beside them. Then he grabbed Jerry by the shoulders and flipped him over, switching positions so that Enrico was on top. Jerry gave a hungry smile. 

Enrico picked up the lube again, flipping the lid off and squeezing out a generous portion. He slicked up Jerry’s cock, hands wrapped around the shaft, pumping slowly at first. Jerry bucked his hips into the rhythm. 

Enrico knelt, a leg on either side of Jerry’s, moving his hand in gentle rhythm. Jerry’s hand found his groin and Enrico felt the surge of pleasure as the other man played with his balls. 

They worked together, hands and skin, thrusting and pumping. In no time, Jerry shot his load, splattering them both, giving a wordless cry as he came. Enrico came soon after, adding his semen to the mix. 

Then he flopped down onto the bed beside Jerry. 

Jerry pulled himself free. He went to Enrico’s cupboard, finding a clean towel on one of the shelves. He wiped himself clean and then tossed the towel at Enrico, before grabbing his clothing, dressing as quickly as he’d undressed. He took more care cleaning his gun after a session in the range. 

“Thanks,” Jerry said, as he let himself out. Enrico lay back on his empty bed, feeling the faint trace of warmth left by Jerry’s body. He closed his eyes and wondered what it would be like if Jerry stayed afterwards. Just once. 

***

“Are you fucking the blob of lard?” Jerry asked, corning Enrico one afternoon in the weights room. The two of them were the only people in the room and Jerry had closed the door so that they wouldn’t be disturbed. 

“What are you on about?” Enrico asked, lowering the dumbbell to the bench. 

“I mean the nerd.” 

“I know _who_ you meant. I’m just trying to work out what you meant by it.” 

“Are you fucking Richard?” Jerry looked angry. He’d looked angry a lot lately, something to do with his security pass playing up. Jerry seemed to think Richard was behind it and frankly Enrico wouldn’t be surprised. But that didn’t explain this ridiculous accusation. 

“Why the hell would you think that?” Enrico asked. 

“I’m not hearing no.” 

“Fine. No. I’m not sleeping with him. Why the hell do you think I would?” 

“Because you come running when he asks for you.” 

“He asked for my help on a technical problem. What’s that to do with you?” 

Enrico was getting angrier by the moment, at the stupidity of the accusation but also at the way Jerry was acting. Jerry had said more than once that what happened between them meant nothing. It wasn’t a relationship. So why the hell should Jerry have any say who Enrico spent time with? 

“He’s a psychopath,” Jerry said. 

“He’s got the social skills of an amoeba,” Enrico said, “but that doesn’t make him a psychopath. He’s a genius and we’d all be lost here without him.” 

“So you are screwing him.” 

Enrico stood from the bench, carrying the weight he’d been using back to the rack. He didn’t have to deal with this. He respected Richard for his mind, for his genius with the portal technology, but respect didn’t equate to sex. If respect meant sex, he’d never sleep with Jerry again. Enrico moved towards the door. 

“Fine,” Jerry said. “Go running back to your boyfriend. I hope he crushes you.” 

“Richard’s my friend, and he’s a hell of a lot better as a friend than you are sometimes, but I’m not sleeping with him and I don’t plan to. Get your head out of your ass.” 

Enrico reached the door. He had his hand on the handle when Jerry said quietly, “I’m sorry. That guy just drives me nuts.” 

“I got that.” 

“Well, if you’re done with the weights, maybe I should give you a different sort of workout.” Jerry shifted his face into a suggestive grin. 

“Not today. I don’t like you much today,” Enrico said. 

“What’s that got to do with it?” 

Enrico walked away. 

***

There were flowers on the bedside table. They’d come with a little get well card, but the sender hadn’t written in the card. There was nothing to say who they’d come from. Enrico should know better than to hope they were from Jerry. They were probably from that worker girl who flirted with him when she served him in the dinner queue. Or maybe they were from Meg, down in the tech lab. They could simply be from one of his friends, who wanted to make a gesture but who didn’t want their name attached to it because of the base’s rumour mill. There were a hundred possibilities more likely than the one he was hoping for. Flowers weren’t Jerry’s style. Still, he could imagine. 

After all, Jerry had been on the rescue party. Maybe he really did care. But then again, the rescue team had been small and Gareth had probably wanted skilled fighters. Jerry was the best shot on the base. Enrico didn’t dare ask anyone whether Gareth had picked Jerry for the mission, or if Jerry had volunteered. He didn’t ask because he suspected he already knew the answer. 

The others came to see him while he was in the hospital room, waiting for his wounds to heal. Even Richard came by briefly, saying about three words before making an excuse about needing to get back to work. Jerry didn’t come to see him. 

Not until the last day, when Enrico was cleared by the doctor to return to his own quarters. Enrico had just finished putting his uniform on when Jerry turned up at the door with a quiet nod of greeting. 

“I don’t suppose they were from you?” Enrico asked. 

“What were?” Jerry asked. The confusion on his face was genuine. He didn’t even glance towards the flowers. Didn’t seem to notice they were there. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Enrico said. 

“You ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” 

They walked together from the medical section. No words passed between them. Enrico wondered what was going on in Jerry’s head. Was he glad Enrico was back? Had he been worried? Or was this just an itch he wanted to scratch? 

They reached Enrico’s room and started the silent stripping. Once naked, Jerry started tracing his fingers alone the healing wounds, angry red lines that would leave scars, despite the rapid healing of the mirus. 

“I’m supposed to go gently,” Enrico said. “The doctor said not to exert myself for a few days.” 

“I’ll do the work then.” 

Jerry pushed Enrico down to sit on the end of the bed. Jerry dropped down on his knees, nudging himself between Enrico’s legs. He lowered his mouth over Enrico’s flaccid cock. With one hand, he fondled Enrico’s balls, with the other he worked his own cock. With tongue and lips, he drew Enrico to hardness. 

Enrico had his hands on the mattress behind him, leaning back as Jerry worked. He lost himself in the sensation, trying to shut off his mind, trying to shut off the part of him that cared about things like flowers and get well cards. Jerry was here. He was real. That ought to be enough. 

While Enrico came in Jerry’s mouth, Jerry masturbated himself to his own climax. Jerry found the towel and wiped them both clean. Then he pulled on his clothes. 

“You could hang out for a bit if you want,” Enrico said. 

“I’ve got duty in the control room this afternoon. I’ll see you at dinner.” 

Jerry let himself out. Enrico wondered why he let himself do this every time. He lay back on his bed, alone again, and closed his eyes tightly against the tears. 

***

This time, it was Jerry in the hospital room, but this time it wasn’t something some mirus and a few stitches would heal. He was lucky, Enrico supposed, compared to so many others. So many more coffins for the funerals. At least they were alive. It had been close. A few more moments, and Jerry would have been yet another body in a coffin. 

And at least they had each other. 

Enrico reached the room and tapped on the ajar door before pushing it open. Jerry lay there, blankets pulled up over his body. Like this, he looked normal, aside from the hospital gown and the setting, of course. From this position, the extent of the injuries were hidden, but Enrico had seen Jerry with his legs gnawed almost off and he’d heard Gareth discussing the options for prosthetics. Enrico wondered if he should have brought flowers. 

“What are you doing here?” Jerry asked. 

“I came to see how you were doing.” 

“How do you think I’m doing?” 

Enrico didn’t know, he couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to lose a part of himself, to know that he’d never be the same. Prosthetics couldn’t replace what had been taken, not completely. So Enrico just stood in the doorway, not knowing what to say. 

“You here to tell me to cheer up?” Jerry asked. “To look on the bright side? To count my blessings? I’ve had enough of that from Gareth and the doctors and the fucking shrink. You should have just let me die!” 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“Don’t you dare tell me what I mean.” 

“Jerry.” Enrico took a step forward and then hesitated again. “You’re not alone here. You don’t have to go through this alone.” 

“Just get out. I don’t need your fucking sympathy. You’re not my boyfriend. You never were and never will be!”


End file.
